Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
