Don't you send me to vm
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
