I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Found the puke drawer
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
