like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
