God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This house was built for laser tag.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
