Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dear god my vagina.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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