Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
