Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
