We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
now i know why i became what i already was.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
