help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
