i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
