so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
