pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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