"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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