Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
