Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
