And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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