is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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