My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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