Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
