I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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