My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
