i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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