"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
