low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I will pee on everything he values.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
