Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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