So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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