I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
love makes seman taste better
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
