OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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