I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
