she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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