no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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