I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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