wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
