she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
