so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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