i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
