you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
