$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
