So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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