SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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