Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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