I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
