From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
