we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
