she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
