I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize