shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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