Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
