But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
