Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
