6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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