i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
