I must be too annoying 4 u.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
