Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
